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jokes
Mr. Smith could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him, and calling him by name, said Keith, we're in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?"
Keith replied, "No thanks, but maybe the dog would like to stretch his legs".
Now, picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with the Seeing Eye dog!
The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.
People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean." The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation, but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency, and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane, and all the swimmers are on the right side."
After this announcement, all the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later, the captain made a belly landing in the ocean.
The captain once again made an announcement, "Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane. For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... "Thank You For Flying Lufthansa."