Chosen Artist:
jokes
From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.
A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable
cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the
intercom, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to
Flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather
ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth flight, Now sit back
and relax. - OH MY GOD!"
Silence
Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said: "Ladies and
Gentlemen, I an so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking
the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee
in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Coach said: "That's nothing. He should see the back of
mine!"