Chosen Artist:
jokes
A man is flying from Los Angeles to New York. During the meal service, he
accidentally knocked the spoon off to the aisle with his elbow. The flight
attendant immediately took a spoon from his pocket and placed it on his
tray table. The man was very impressed by the promptness of the service and
asked, "Do all flight attendants carry a spoon in their pockets?"
The flight attendant answered, "We had an efficiency expert in to evaluate
our operation. He determined that 25% of the customers knock the spoon off
their tray tables. By carrying a spare spoon, we all save trips to the
galley and can be much more efficient."
Later, as the flight attendant is picking his dirty tray up, the customer
asked, "Excuse me for asking but why do you have a string hanging from
your fly?"
The flight attendant replied, "The efficiency expert determined that we
were spending too much time washing our hands after we went to the
bathroom. To counteract this, we tie strings to our penises."
The customer looked confused. "How does that help?" he asked.
"Well, when I go to the bathroom I just use the string. Since I never touched myself I don't need to wash my hands."
The customer nodded and asked, "But how do you get it back in your pants?"
The flight attendant smiled, "I don't know about the other guys, but I use
the spoon."
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.
"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"