Chosen Artist:
jokes
From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window.
A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops
down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.
The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake
the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't
climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big
guy, trying to decide what to do.
Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of
nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and
he pukes all over the big guy's chest.
About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the
vomit all over him.
"So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"